I Was Loading Groceries Into My Car...

"Agrajag" (Agrajag) 01/22/2015 at 23:16 • Filed to: comic, sketch, anger rising

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When the voice of a young woman beckons me. I turn to look. She is just a silhouette in the brightly illuminated parking lot.

Lady: Excuse me, I ran out of gas. Do you have a dollar?

As the words leave her mouth she comes into full view.

Me(internal monologue): HOLY SHIT! Meth much?
Me: No, I'm sorry. I spent all my money on this delicious food, and don't have any left to buy you drugs.

Crackhead:(walking away in a huff) My car is broken. Thanks a lot.

Don't get pissy at me lady. Is your car broken or are you out of gas? You might want to get your cover story straight.

Always makes me sad meeting someone in this state. She probably wasn't over 35, but could have passed for 50.

beardsbynelly - Rikerbeard > Agrajag 01/22/2015 at 23:18

9

I know that story all too well. The supermarket I go to has a cast of regulars who are notorious for needing $2 for a bus ticket.

but every time I try to give them my un-expired transfer ticket they tell me to fuck off :(

StingrayJake > Agrajag 01/22/2015 at 23:21

1

Somebody approached me in a sporting goods store parking lot like that once. I had seen the car follow me into the parking lot and I was getting out when she walked up. Told me they'd been driving all day from (insert state here) and her sister was pregnant in the back seat. They just needed $10 for some food. I offered $3 (I had $23 in my wallet) and she said, "No we really need $10." I gave her a $10 to get her to go away. I should be due some karma whether they bought drugs or not.

jmedarts > Agrajag 01/22/2015 at 23:21

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I really thought this was going in a COMPLETELY different direction....

ttyymmnn > jmedarts 01/22/2015 at 23:32

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You thought helmeted thugs with wrenches were going to start chasing you?

jmedarts > ttyymmnn 01/22/2015 at 23:45

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Me? I wasn't there. Him. I thought we were in for a heartwarming, musical love story. But then, yikes!

ttyymmnn > jmedarts 01/22/2015 at 23:47

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I was riffing on the picture you posted in your reply.

SVTyler > Agrajag 01/22/2015 at 23:48

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Hate people that do this, it's just so disingenuous. One dude was posted up outside a strip mall with a bank in it so when he asked for $10 to buy a bus ticket to go see his pregnant sister in the hospital (lol okay buddy) and I said I didn't have any cash he was like, oh, there's an ATM right there, you can totally hook me up. I totally can't hook you up man, fuck off.

Also funny how angry these kinds of people get as opposed to how downtrodden and sad they initially seem. It's like they're putting on an act or something...

vdub_nut: scooter snob > ttyymmnn 01/22/2015 at 23:49

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That's pretty much the summation of my day-to-day existence.

PyramidHat > jmedarts 01/22/2015 at 23:54

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God Dammit, now I have that fucking song in my head.

Sometimes, I dislike the 80's....

Big Bubba Ray > Agrajag 01/23/2015 at 00:02

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That second drawing had me dying hahaha well done

Agrajag > Big Bubba Ray 01/23/2015 at 00:13

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Thanks.

nafsucof > Agrajag 01/23/2015 at 00:14

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I had a younger guy 20ish years old come up to me just about crying yesterday. Looked clean was having a terrible day/week and was ordering his jacket which looked nice for $5 so he could get home to his grandmas house. I asked him some questions about which but and where he'd get it, how many transfers etc. his story seemed good or he was quite an actor. I felt bad for him and made him verbally promise he'd use it for the bus he started to cry and kind of reached out for a hug still trying to give me his coat mind you it was 20 out and he had no business giving me or anyone his coat in that weather anyways...i gave him a big hug and $5 and I told him to go home and stay warm. I really hope he just needed a hand and made it home safe. He didn't look cracky/druggy. Poor kid.

Agrajag > nafsucof 01/23/2015 at 00:22

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I'd have probably given that person some money, as well

nafsucof > Agrajag 01/23/2015 at 00:58

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I had all sorts of feels for him. I'm thinking hoping he just plain had no money and other people had said no...do unto others right?

I've met the crackheads too like you, that's uncomfortable huh? Never know how desperate they are.

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > nafsucof 01/23/2015 at 03:18

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it really sticks how some lazy, or drugged out people ruin things, for when people might really just need a float.

I cashier at a gas station an a guy had pumped 10 bucks in gas, and was also getting a soda. he didn't have cash and hid debit card was declined. I tried running with out the soda, then running it as credit and it was still declined. He asked if he could run and get some cash, which we don't usually do, but instead of out right saying no I said I'd ask my Manager since she was still there.

When I got back from talking to my manager a regular customer who owns a local business (super cool dude BTW) had walked up and said he would pay for the guys gas, and even the soda too.

So I'm thinking "Wow, how nice of him to just do something like that for some one he's never met." Then my manager, who watched the transaction take place from the monitor in the office, came out and asked "did he just pay for the kids gas?" I told her what happened, and she let out a huge annoyed sigh, and just says "that's not the first time he has pumped gas, knowing his card would be declined, or the first time some one else paid for it." it really made me wish Wisconsin was like some other states where you HAVE to prepay, and I for sure have never wished that lol.

thebigbossyboss > Agrajag 01/23/2015 at 06:55

1

Usually I always say no. Where I used to work in downtown east side Vancouver, they can really aggressive and it's annoying.

One day, in 2011 in Ottawa (where I live now) we were wearing our Vancouver Canucks hockey jerseys and walking to the beer store. This guy approached us and told us about how the player on the back of my jersey (Trevor Linden) was awesome, and about how Marc Messier sucks. (Captain of NY Rangers who won the cup vs Vancouver in 1994, then got traded to Vancouver where everyone hated him). AFter about a two to three minute rant extolling the virtues of Linden and trashing Messier the guy goes "You got two bucks?"

I said "Yeah, that was worth two bucks" and off he went hahahaha.

whatisthatsound > Agrajag 01/23/2015 at 07:03

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When I used to live in the Bronx the homeless guy who posted outside the train station would always ask me fly money. I never carry cash so I would tell him I only have cards. No lie, one day he pulled out an iPhone with a card reader and said, swipe it motherf***er. I'm not to sure if he was actually homeless after that.

JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder! > Agrajag 01/23/2015 at 07:11

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We have a big problem with them at my work. There's like 3 of them that go around asking for gas money. Usually I don't say anything because well if its not bothering me why tattle? But lately they have the audacity to start asking us employees. That's when I draw the line and tell the manager.

I know one lady is really gaming because she drove off. In.... A 2012 C class Mercedes.

Stapleface-Now Hyphenated! > Agrajag 01/23/2015 at 08:18

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During the warmer months, I have two "homeless" that work a corner on my drive to work. Rarely do I ever see anyone stop and give them something.

Oddly enough, one day a couple of summers ago there was this pretty blonde hippie girl with a dog who was asking for money. She probably made 25 bucks in the 3 minutes I waited at that light. lol

It's always a little frightening when someone approaches you, especially when you're the only one around and it's dark out. I'll never forget my father and I was approached by a guy on a subway platform in Chicago around 4:30 AM. We were the only two people there. I was convinced that guy was going to pull a weapon on us.

area man > Agrajag 01/23/2015 at 08:42

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awesome sketches. I lived in Harlem for a year after I graduated from college, and one day on my way to work I was stopped by a somewhat sketchy-looking woman who unleashed this long, detailed monologue about needing 5 bucks for a train ticket to Long Island to pick up her kid bc her car broke down. Or something. But she seemed genuinely worried, her speech didn't sound rehearsed and I felt bad, so I gave her a 5. A couple days later I saw her stop someone about a block away and give the exact same story word for word.

Agrajag > Stapleface-Now Hyphenated! 01/23/2015 at 08:55

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Now that I think on it I suppose it could've been a dangerous situation. There weren't many other late night grocery shoppers and the parking lot isn't visible from the road.

Snooder87 > whatisthatsound 01/23/2015 at 08:59

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Haha, what? That's some brass ass balls man.

Agrajag > whatisthatsound 01/23/2015 at 09:00

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Hahaha.

CalzoneGolem > Agrajag 01/28/2015 at 11:00

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I fell for this once when I was living in Salem, MA. A couple asked me for some bucks for gas to get to the next town. The second time they asked me the same thing I was on to them.

BJ > Agrajag 02/24/2015 at 23:36

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I got stopped by a sorry looking guy that had quite a story about travelling to Boston for surgery, and what appeared to be a medical condition in desperate need of treatment. It didn't all add up, for the most part, but he looked so goddamn sorry and distressed that I gave him the cash in my wallet, $30 - he said he needed something like $28 for his diabetes meds - but declined to withdraw cash or help any further.

He even wrote down my phone number so that he can call me and pay me back one day. I don't expect to hear from him, but I don't really care.

Agrajag > BJ 02/24/2015 at 23:45

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You're nicer than I am.

All his friends will now call you for money.